Theres a fairly recent story from my life that Ive come to call the Angelas butt story. Its a controversial tale, and its main character still doesnt understand the remarkable significance of the experience as it applies to my life and attitudes.
As a typically shallow person of my gender, I happened to take notice of a certain physical attribute of this female friend. It started innocently and unintentionally as I glimpsed her bending over my colleagues desk while they spoke. At the time, she was wearing a pair of burgundy velvet pants that fit like a glove. Inadvertently, I found myself obsessing about her anatomical perfection in that particular region. From there my mind began to wander into areas better left unexplored, and this friend became an object of my lustful fantasies.
As a student of consciousness, its my commitment to witness all thoughts and feelings that command my attention and to become aware when my mind is trapped by a particular thought loop. This obsession with Angelas derrire required some exploration on my part.
I decided to dedicate the better half of a road trip alone not to replaying the desired imagery but to noticing the thoughts and feelings of lust the imagery had evoked.
As I sat quietly, calming my mind and directing my attention inward, I found that my body hurt. There was tightness in my chest, heaviness in my throat, and an ache in my belly. My thoughts revolved around the degree to which I wanted something I couldnt have. Then my thoughts spun off, reminding me of all my feelings of inadequacy as result of not getting the girl.
Further reflection brought to light the recognition that this was the set of thoughts and feelings that Id experienced all my life from focusing on the physical desirability of women. Yet, I continued to seek out this experience. Why?
Could it be that I was suffering under the effect of an addiction? Could it be that part of the quality of addiction is its power to create a sense of incompleteness, and then propose a solution, the completion of which might make us feel satisfied?
Ive shared this realization with many people, and Ive invited them to notice what their longings really feel like. Inevitably, everyone tells me that they discover the same thing. Whether theyre longing for love, sex, a relationship, or a new pair of Banana Republic jeans, they all find that the focus on that thing has an addictive, obsessive, painful quality yet they cant seem to stop thinking about it.
I invite you to try this experiment yourself. The next time your consciousness is arrested by a strong desire, particularly one youre unlikely to fulfill, take a moment to turn your attention inward. Notice the exact nature of the feeling. Notice how your thought process wants to draw you back into the same set of questions and judgments it has always repeated every time youve been in the same situation. Notice, as you try to quiet your mind, how strongly its pulled back to the object of your desire and to thoughts like Why cant I have that? Whats wrong with me? Its not fair. Boy, I really want that
Keep your attention upon the inner sensations. Forget, as best you can, the trigger, the object of your desire and obsession, and become aware of whats going on inside of you. Here is what youll notice.
As you quiet your mind and study your sensations, youll feel pain. Somewhere within you will be an ache, a sharpness, something. As you continue to allow your attention to focus on the sensation, it will begin to change. It will shift, perhaps, to another part of your body. Or it will spread out. Or maybe it will start to throb or tingle. Your mind will likely perceive this as a sign of danger and will try to draw you out of your body and back into the inquiry. But fight that urge. Stay with the feelings. They wont harm you, and, if you wait long enough, they will disappear.
This process of studying our sensation is how we overcome addictions. We weather the storm, but its not just that. We also bring awareness and equanimity to the process. That feeling which used to own us and direct our thoughts is now just a harmless, passing set of sensations. We experience freedom from our addictions, and we find that feeling of freedom is far superior to any imagined happiness that we might experience as a result of getting the object of our desire.
My sense of incompleteness, and the square yard of flesh that caused it were part of a complex program, a belief structure, which I unwittingly imbibed as a child or adolescent, kept in place by my subservience to my own feelings. In essence, it was hypnotized into me, either by others or by myself. As long as I allowed the script to keep playing, I would remain forever hypnotized. Every time I would feel the feelings, Id think the thoughts which would perpetuate the feelings which would enhance the thoughts, etcetera, etcetera By choosing observation of my inner senses and allowing any waves to pass without reaction, I unhypnotized myself, and I gained a measure of freedom.
Once weve begun to use these tools, and to attain this perspective, we see the world and ourselves very differently. Addictions to substances, relationships, or thought patterns vanish, as we reidentify ourselves correctly, not as our mind, with all its erratic and inconsistent thoughts, but as our essence, our self, our soul, our pure consciousness.
Dr. Steve Taubman is a hypnotist and physician, and the author of UnHypnosis: How to Wake Up, Start Over, and Create the Life Youre Meant to Live. His writings and teachings guide people in the use of tools of transformation, and bring esoteric spiritual principles down to earth. Learn more about UnHypnosis by visiting http://www.unhypnosis.com
Alcoholism Addiction Treatment
Alcoholism addiction treatment is a program by which a person can overcome an addiction ro alcohol. These programs can take many forms, including counseling, group therapy, cold turkey, gradualism, and so on down the line. Each person is unique, and ...
Drug Addiction
Statistics show that drug addiction is on the rise. Designer drugs are finding their way into clubs and bars and straight into the hands of teenagers and young professionals. Addiction to prescription drugs is becoming common, as well. Many people be...
How To Stop Porn Addiction
Step one: Do you admit you have a problem? Do you realize just how much damage porn addiction can do to your life and your relationships? Do you really want to know how to stop porn addiction? OR are you just hoping there is an easy one click cure?If...
Signs of an Addiction
Addictions come in many forms. Its important to recognize the signs of addictions in order to seek out help before the problem becomes to large.Some different types of Addictions are:
Caffeine addiction, nicotine addiction, drug addiction, Alcohol a...
How To Stop An Addiction To Porn
There is no easy answer to how to stop an addiction to porn as the real causes behind such a damaging habit are as varied as the bizarre sex acts you find in the adult entertainment industry! Without a one shot 12 step program or something of the lik...
North Carolina Addiction Treatment Programs Emerge
For years drug addiction and alcoholism were viewed as moral issues instead of the diseases they are now. It was no different throughout the state of North Carolina. In fact many who lived in North and South Carolina felt all people had to do was get...
Breaking Porn Addiction - How To Kick Your Addiction
Porn addiction has become a modern affliction that is by and large hidden to mainstream media and general discussion on the subject. It is considered embarrassing and is largely anonymous so it goes unheeded and undocumented and more and more people ...
Addiction in Any Form is Abnormal
Psychological and physiological dependence on a substance or practice is the medical definition of the term addiction. An addiction is an uncontrollably strong longing for something - an abnormal kinky obsession for things. A person with an addict...
Need Help For Porn Addiction?
Do you need help for porn addiction? Do you find it hard to give up your habit and despite your best intentions you keep falling back into the pit from where you climbed from? If so you need to take a good long look at the processes you use to try to...
Problem Gambling Addiction
Program gambling addiction is becoming a daily topic at the office water cooler. Who would ever have imagined ten years ago that this new epidemic is affecting all walks of life. Now that more and more people are realizing this problem exists they ...
