Jeffrey showed up at one of my 5-Day Inner Bonding Intensives to deal with his alcoholism and resulting relationship problems. His past two marriages had ended in messy divorces. His business was falling apart. Yet in the face of all of this, Jeffrey could not or would not stop drinking.
Two things were immediately apparent in my first session with Jeffrey. First, he had completely abandoned himself, making others responsible for his self-worth. Due to his unwillingness to take responsibility for his own feelings, he was constantly pulling others for approval with his niceness. His inauthentic saccharine niceness felt like sticky glue trying to ooze its way into having control over getting others approval. Needless to say, it was not working for him.
Second, he had no spiritual connection, no Source to turn to for love, comfort and guidance. As anyone who has attended AA knows, being able to turn to a spiritual Source is essential for healing. The support of the people within the program can help sustain abstinence, but true healing comes from the inner spiritual connection.
No one had ever confronted Jeffrey with how much they were put off by his controlling niceness. They would just go away, leaving him to wonder what he had done wrong. At first, when the Intensive participants told Jeffrey about feeling pulled at for approval, he felt hurt. But within the loving energy of the Intensive, he was soon able to open to learning about the gift they were offering him. He was able to see that, because he was abandoning himself by ignoring his feelings and judging himself, he was handing others responsibility for his feelings of worth.
Once Jeffrey opened to how alone he felt inside when he abandoned himself, he was able to move into compassion rather than judgment for his feelings. As his heart open to compassion for himself, he began to feel the love that is always within and around us the love that is our Source.
As a result of learning and practicing the 6-Step Inner Bonding process and connecting with himself and his spiritual Guidance, Jeffrey no longer wanted to drink. The alcohol was filling up the inner emptiness caused by his self-abandonment and disconnection from his Source. He left the Intensive with no desire to drink. Jeffrey has been alcohol-free for many years now.
Rachael had been struggling with her alcoholism for 19 years before attending an Inner Bonding Intensive. While she had a strong belief in God, she had never felt a deep and personal connection with God. Like Jeffrey, she had used alcohol to fill the emptiness and avoid the pain that came from her own self-abandonment and disconnection from her Source. Rachael was constantly judging herself as inadequate. Until the Intensive, she had believed that her pain was being caused by others behavior towards her others judgments of her. At the Intensive, she discovered that she was not a victim that her pain was being caused by ignoring her feelings and judging herself, as well as by not speaking up for herself with her husband and family.
As Rachael learned and practiced the Inner Bonding process, she started to attend to her own feelings and make the connection between her pain and her self-judgments. She also started speaking up for herself. As she opened her heart to her Source, to her feelings, and to the beautiful essence within her, she discovered a joy that she had never felt in her life. The inner emptiness and anxiety that had been her constant companions were gone. Gone too was her desire to drink.
Addictions are caused by self-abandonment by ignoring your feelings, by judging yourself, and by closing your heart to your Source. They can be healed.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and Healing Your Aloneness. She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
Alcoholism Disease - Is There a Biological and Physiological Basis to Alcoholism?
During the past generation, a great deal of effort has been placed on examining the alcoholism disease concept. As a result, many researchers have concluded that alcoholism is a disease, that alcoholism disease does indeed have a biological basis. ...
Alcoholism Information Treatment - Life Saving Resources for the Drunken Alcoholic
You are not alone. If you have concluded that you have a problem with drinking or that you might be an alcoholic, there are resources that can be helpful to you. This includes a number of alcoholism information treatment resources.Since the conclus...
Drug Treatment for Alcoholism - An Alternative to Treating Addiction?
One of the gravest addictions is alcoholism. A person should be treated immediately if found out to be addicted to alcohol. When not treated at once, it can cause severe damage to the mental and physical health of the person. Fortunately, there ar...
Alcoholism Treatment and Rehab
Alcoholism is certainly, as described by the American Medical Association, a disease that is progressive, chronic and if left untreated, can be fatal. The question many alcoholics and their families battle with is how to best treat the disease of alc...
Tips For Helping Someone With Alcoholism
When a person is effected by alcoholism in their family they often want to find a way to help the alcoholic. There are some great tips for helping someone with alcoholism. Alcoholism effects everyone the alcoholic knows and for someone to offer the...
Did You Find What You Need To Know About Alcoholism Treatment Methods?
With the abundance of alcoholism treatment methods available these days, there is no justification for you or a loved one grappling with alcoholism not to acquire the needed alimony. Due to intensive research and development, every alcohol addic...
Naltrexone as a Cure for Alcoholism?
Are you concerned with one of your loved one and their current dependency on alcohol? If that individual is a close friend or relative, like a longtime friend or a family member, are they uneasy about checking themselves into an alcohol rehab center...
A Guide To Alcoholism
Substance addiction is one of the most difficult diseases to treat because this kind of addiction is chronic and progressive in nature, which means that the longer and more you are hooked on the substance, the harder it is to overcome. One example of...
Alcoholism Addiction Treatment
Alcoholism addiction treatment is a program by which a person can overcome an addiction ro alcohol. These programs can take many forms, including counseling, group therapy, cold turkey, gradualism, and so on down the line. Each person is unique, and ...
Alcoholism
While many people still try and define addicts as different from alcoholics, the fact of the matter is that the definition of addiction or alcoholism is almost identical. Maintaining a belief that addiction is a disease of the brain and understandin...
